Hot!!!

I find it oddly amusing...

Of course we all know about the Chris Rock Good Hair blah dee blah... Watched him on Oprah and was like what the fuck evah...Saw the follow up show. Some woman wrote in super anonymously about how he was telling the world our black woman secrets and how he put us out there bad letting the white girl know what we do to compete and how our men love to run their fingers through and the white girl knows she has this etc and on and on and that's how she steals our men... I was bout as amused as I imagine white female viewers may have been. Just the hysteria... It was funny. I guess because these are not my views or my problems, I just found her shenanigans very amusing. There was also a woman in the audience that was not to amused with the whole airing of our dirty laundry as she did not want to be put in the category of weave wearers..(.giggles) and can't we just have some secrets blah blah blah. Wow if your hair is making you this touchy and nervous good grief...Oh the shame of it all.

I haven't seen the movie and have no desire to really. There is nothing there that I don't already know and haven't overcome. For some however it seems "Good Hair" is stirring up some issues...

I suppose because I do not perm or wear hair (to cover my own hair out of shame anyway), and I don't envy or desire straight hair, and I know that all men respond overwhelmingly to self-love and confidence so it's not always about running his fingers through something it's that she isn't saddled with a poor self image fostered by years of brainwashing and all the baggage that comes with that, that I can laugh at it all. I wonder how I would feel if I were the old permed up, weaved up me. Perhaps not so amused. Maybe I would feel stripped naked for the world to see or at the very least that my wig had been pulled off or that my tracks were showing when I thought my weave was undetectable... something along those lines. Seems like such a burden to carry. I'm free of those burdens, insecurities and everything that goes with all of that so I laughed and was indeed entertained. These are my sisters and they are struggling but I laughed just for a moment at the ludicrousness of it all.

Randomness...

So I did a set of twists I don't really know how many weeks ago left them in for about a week. I took them down and rocked a twist out for a minute. That got old so I rocked a wrap to cover it. I washed it and let that sit for about a week. I knew better than to neglect my hair and wash it loose without detangling it. When I was ready to comb it, needless to say, my shit was free form loc'd so my detangle was epic. I was ready to loc. Started looking at loc videos and reading up getting my mind right. Called my loc'd mom and friend. Told my husband "I'm bout to loc boo so don't trip." He was like "nah." So that's a rap for today plus I did manage to get it detangle and put it into some juicy twists after two days and a ton of conditioner and I'm bout to look hot with my massive twist out this weekend and next when my mom and I go see Ahmad Jamal at the African Festival of the Arts. I love locs. I truly do, but I love my big hair and locs just can't be a fro which I love mo. Even still, I do see myself one day locing out of sheer laziness. One day I'm going to put some twist in as I do from time to time and I'm just going to be to damn triflin to take them down and they will just loc of their own accord.

So I just came back up in here posting not even saying where I've been. It's just been really busy. I'll try to be more of a rider and keep this blog current. Thanks for taking time out of your precious life to read me.

The Natural Hair Trend???

I caint...

You know there's this school of thought out there that black women wearing their God ordained hair is a trend. I would ask those who dismiss the coming into ourselves and being in alignment with God's own image of us as a trend these things:

Is blue a trend for the sky?

Is wetness a trend for water?

Is sourness a trend for a lemon?

Is green a trend for grass?

We have been out of alignment but we have been working through the pain and trauma of the past over the course of many generations and through that work we are evolving past the need to hide our true nature. We are not quibbling with God over why we had to endure such pain. We are many years post slavery, post Jim Crow. We are waking up to find that if we are going to keep on in a forward trajectory, the tools we used during certain parts of the journey have to be left behind. Chemical straighteners are becoming obsolete. It was a tool to hide us, a tool we used to comply with a society that had no desire to respect us. It was a tool that we used to work out the pain of being the image of oppression. It was a tool we used to become more like those with the power to make snuff us out or set us free. We used it to clime up and out of a dark and deep hole. Now we are standing on solid ground sure of our strength. Aware of God's mercy and grace with the horizon in front of us. There are some of us whose minds are still in that hole.

During the course of any evolution there are always those who are further into and those who are not yet on the path. Surely during the early dawn of man there were those that began to use tools and then there were those that were still using the obsolete methods. Always there will be a time when we are not all in the same place. The thing is to recognize when evolution is taking place and to get on board with it. There is no going backward. Always during an evolutionary phase there are fits and starts. Folks will be quick to throw up the black power movement and how we wore naturals then but it came and went. Consider that the starting point of this particular evolution. There are many that kept their hair in it's God given state from that point forward, my mother being one of them. Their are those that lost their way. I am a part of the generation that came after them. If it wasn't for them, this conversation wouldn't be happening. They sparked this. As you can see, it did not end with them.

My Daughters Beautiful Naps

My daughter has a whole lot of nappy hair as you can see. Her hair is below waist length stretched. In the above photo I pulled a section of her loose hair in order to stretch it out so that I could show it's length (my hand is somewhere down there but cannot be seen in the pic), then I took the picture with my other hand. She is 5 years old and of course has never had her hair straightened. She knows she's beautiful because we always tell her that she is sooooooo beautiful. She knows nothing of self loathing. She loves her skin and hair and everything about herself because we adore her and tell her so all the time. We live in a predominantly white community so she interacts with them on the regular but has no issues. She attracts love and kindness like a magnet because this is what she experiences all the time in her home. This is her foundation. It's all in how you treat your children. It's all in the messages you send them. A child should not feel insecure, ugly or unwanted. Our job as parents is to make sure they know they are perfect and precious. Their lives even when we are not around will reflect the love we planted in their souls.

As for her hair, their is no way on earth her hair would ever be as healthy or achieve this length with a relaxer. I have older twin daughter's who's hair was as long as this. Their father begged me for years to relax it because he couldn't do it on their visits so I gave in eventually and let him take them to have it done. I knew what would happen but he didn't believe me when I told him. Their hair was super long and healthy to start then it began to break off. It eventually broke off to chin length in a year's time even though they had their hair done professionally and kept it up. Needless to say, they are both transitioning now and never want to see another relaxer as long as they live. Now when I send them to their father for visits, their hair is in braids. They know how healthy their hair was prior to the relaxer and how badly it damaged their hair. Relaxers hold no mystique for them. They will not be begging me to perm it for prom. Nappy hair is fragile not strong and chemicals break it down to the point that it is even more fragile and prone to breakage.

My youngest daughter (pictured above) is by my husband. We both agreed no chemical would ever touch her hair. Her hair got this long by treating it the way nappy hair needs to be treated. Very little manipulation. I put her braids in and don't take them down for weeks at a time. I wash her hair in the braids. When its time to redo, I take it one braid at a time making sure to moisturize and oil to prevent breakage. I separate and smooth with my fingers and very gently comb the ends with a wide tooth comb and re-braid. She usually has anywhere from 8 to 12 braids. It takes about 2 hours to do her hair because I don't yank and snatch through it like it needs to be punished. The keys to healthy naps are moisture, low manipulation and a gentle patient touch. That's pretty much it. Her hair is also never blow dried, in fact no heat is used on her hair.

For all those who use hair typing, we are both 4b in other words nappy. Her father is a pure blooded Ghanaian (Ghana, West Africa, blackest Africa, home of the purest naps and deepest melanin endowed gorgeous dark skin where the majority of us can trace our roots because it is from there that the majority of our ancestors departed) :) I am an African-American with no recent interruption of my African bloodline, in other words not mixed. Yes, true African naps can achieve length if so desired if you honor God's blessing by nurturing and loving them and caring enough to learn about how to take care of them instead of trying to murder them with toxic chemicals.

As long as I am in charge, my daughter will never feel the burn of chemicals or the heat of a straightening tool. She will always know and not question the power and truth of her own God given beauty just as she knows it at the impressionable age of 5.

What Did You Expect Your Daughters Hair to Look Like???

So I was having a conversation with my husband about these mothers who hate their daughters hair. I asked him, what do these nappy headed women expect their daughters hair to look like? Just really. NT way he busts out like these women have been perming their hair so long that they expect the perm to penetrate the DNA like the matrix and change the molecular structure of their off-springs hair.

Damn!

Because they really seem shocked and dismayed when their children's hair turns out like their own nappy hair. What the hell.

Beautiful Despite?

Oh no. This will never do.

I see this beautiful despite the fact, in spite of, no matter...

We are not beautiful even though... We are not beautiful despite the fact... We are not beautiful even if....

We are beautiful because.

Our nappy hair is beautiful. God made it. God loved what God made. God made a lot of it. God was pleased with it. It was the first hair God made.

Quit telling yourself and your babies you are beautiful despite the fact that your hair is what it is as though it is not apart of what makes us beautiful.

I Want to Look Like the Ones Who Brought Me Here

I want to look like baobab trees

and endless blue ocean

like ever expanding sun drenched skies

I want to look like diamonds from the earths core

like rhythm and harmony

rain drenched soil

lush green landscapes

like flesh of ripe mango

the perfect orange dawn

like full swinging hips

backs like living cradles rocking baby to sleep

tremendous loads carried like feathers by steel spine

like hands carving

and weaving

and cooking

and braiding

and tending to life

I want to look like the ones who brought me here

The ones whose breath passed from mother to mother until it filled my lungs

my laugh

I want to look like the ones

whose blood is in my veins

whose rhythm is in my heart

whose sun is in my skin

whose hair is on my head

Nah Tyra

Ima need you to come up out them lace fronts more than once a year before you start trying to moderate discussions about black women's hair issues. Win your own battle first or at least try to fight the damn battle. Cornrows for a day. Sit down somewhere.

Ok Ok at least she tried to put the discussion on the table so let me ease up... Just a bit.

Choice?

I am not of the opinion that black women choose to perm their hair. I personally believe we are compelled to relax due to a high level of indoctrination. We all know what that includes: Being told by the people who should love us that our hair is ugly, unmanageable, bad etc. Many of us haven't seen it in so many years that we don't even know how to style it. Our own hair is alien and repulsive to us. We murder it. We hide it away in shame. We are inundated with images of women in magazines, on television and in movies with hair that looks anything but like the hair growing out of our scalps. Our naturally nappy hair has not been glamourized and associated with all things beautiful. Women want to be beautiful. Women want to be admired and adored. Nappy hair has not been associated with any of these things. Black women may make a conscious choice to buck the system and wear their hair natural, but the relaxer is not a choice we make by and large.

As For the Show...

Clearly those women are mentally sick. Their minds are severely broken and it is a sad thing to witness. They are creating more sickness. This is what happens when a child is not told she is beautiful and a glorious reflection of God. This is what we get when we withhold approval from our babies. We get girls talking about "I got that white girl flow" as though her black girl swagger is inferior. We get girls who grow up to bear children whom they think are not beautiful even though their children have the hair of their mothers. They burn their daughters hair and scalps with toxic chemicals while they are still babies thus telling their daughters we are ugly and need to suffer to be fixed. They are saying I know I'm your mother and if no one else can see your beauty I should, but your hair is ugly, child of my womb. A child growing up under the weight of a self-loathing mother has no choice. She will perm to be beautiful in the most elementary way...beautiful to her mother. She will never stop perming because if your mother can't see your beauty, no one will ever see it. It can't exist.

Dealing with Inappropriate Comments About Your Naturally Nappy Hair

This comes up all the time on natural hair boards so I know it is a problem that needs to be addressed:

Adults know what appropriate conversation is and if they act like the site of your naturally nappy hair has caused them to forget, you may find yourself needing to give them a refresher course in good manners. You have to engage people who are behaving in a way that is inappropriate and childish. As an adult, the way you wear your hair is no concern of anyone else, it is your right. Tell them that they are crossing a line that they should know better than to cross. If these are people you know, which 9 out of 10 they are, let them know that in your dealings with them, you have respected their choices and the respect has to be a two way street if the relationship is going to continue.

Lines must not be crossed. Anyone telling you what you should be doing to your hair as if you are a child is crossing an invisible boundary and must be told to fall back. If they still persist and are sitting their with a chemical fire cream questioning your choice to be natural, tell them that if we are going to start questioning each other's grown ass choices, you also have a question for them, why is it that they think they are so ugly that they need to put a caustic chemical in their hair to change it and do they really want to continue down this road because you have some very strong opinions of your own. This is admittedly a little raw, but sometimes people don't know they are being rude until you mirror their behavior to them. Let them know you were being intentionally rude by asking that question to show them how rude it is that they are disrespecting you in how they address you about your own choice. You can also take it down to the basics. Tell them they should really be addressing God and not you if they have an issue with your naturally nappy hair because God was the one who chose this hair texture for you, you just happen not to have any problem with his will. Tell them that between God's idea of how you should look and theirs, thanks for presenting another option, but you'll be sticking with God.

One shouldn't have to become so thick skinned if it isn't in one's nature but unfortunately when we wear our hair natural we unearth the issues of black folks where ever we are because so many of our issues we hide in our hair. Some wonder why you aren't hiding and what happened to you that you aren't engaging in their practices. Black issues erupt around the site of natural hair. It's like a catalyst sometimes. Take these moments as opportunities. You don't have to get all deep with folks if you don't feel like it but insisting on being addressed with respect is something we to often don't do. Setting boundaries and guarding those areas that other people shouldn't feel free to cross with you is a good and strengthening exercise for any woman.

If the offender is a parent, remind them that they did a superior job at raising you and because their parenting skills were so on point, you have grown into an adult who has the intellectual and spiritual fortitude to make brilliant choices.

People of other races tend to have an innocuous curiosity about our hair and their curiosity can seem rude and ignorant but don't take it as an insult take it as a moment to share information, to broaden their knowledge about human beings who are different from them and if they are rude to share a lesson in manners and etiquette. Tell them that the way they phrased their question came across as rude even though it may not have been meant in that way.

You are beautiful just the way you are and other people's issues have no bearing on that at all. Don't take peoples problems as your gospel. Their problems are not your answers. Their issues are not your guides. They should be working them out, not trying to get you to co-sign on their issues so that they can feel right about proceeding with their bullshit.

Remember time is life. You can't get those moments back that you allow others to waist. You should not be in a long drawn out exchange with someone because while you're letting them be all up in your ear, life is moving on without you.

More Myth Madness

Nappy Hair Myth: You have to have a certain look or texture to rock you natural hair.

This is unmitigated bullshit. It never fails to baffle that black women of all shapes, sizes and descriptions feel it's cool to run around with hacked up, dried out, thinning out perms, glued up shiny foreheaded lace fronts and shiny ass doll hair that ain't blending in weaves with tracks waving hi and a host of other foolishness but when it comes to rocking naturally nappy hair suddenly standards have to be stringent. You have to have a certain texture, a particular length, a certain head shape, specific kinds of features, a certain body type, perfect skin, etc. etc. Nucka pleeze. So your'e saying a chick can run around with a rats nest on her head regardless but not her unaltered hair because ummm...why?

With some of the shit I've seen sitting on top of our heads even some of the shit that was on top of my knuckle head, naturally nappy hair would be a vast improvement. Do some of us think we are hiding away or improving on what we perceive to be our flaws by blending in or employing the ancient art of misdirection? Are we trying to be invisible? Perm is not a cloak of invisibility. It will not make your perceived flaws invisible to you or anyone else. We all have issues. We're women. Society stokes the hot burning fires of our insecurities making us feel like we have to fix shit all the damn time. We have soul searching to do. We have some introspection we have to do but wearing damaged hair, or the illest indonesian, bohemian, 20 inch weave is not going to give us what need. What we need is to be at peace with ourselves. We need to be able to look in the mirror and love what we see so that we don't feel we have to distract ourselves from ourselves or hide amongst the crowd because we aren't good enough to be seen. We need to know that what God has made doesn't require fixing. We need to trust God.

Naturally nappy hair can be worn by any black woman whose hair is naturally nappy. No need to fit into a certain narrow criterion. God made millions upon millions of diverse black folks with naturally nappy hair so apparently it was all good across the board. A head of healthy nappy hair will only enhance your beauty. First though, you'll have to understand that you, everything about you is truly enough. This is not to say that we don't need to work to improve in areas where we really do need to step our game up i.e. health which does affect appearance and state of mind, but if we hide behind hair or whatever it is we hide our issues behind, are we really addressing those things that keep us from being our best selves. I personally found that I was hiding so much behind my hair. If I was feeling crappy about myself or my direction in life, I'd blame it on my hair. I'd spend hours fixing the hair and not the real problem. When I let my hair go naked, one of the biggest excuses I had was gone. I could no longer pretend to be working on my esteem issues by fixing my hair. I had to really deal with my all the things about myself that made me feel uncomfortable.

Wearing your naturally nappy hair is not a panacea, but because we are women, black women and so much has been done to make us feel that our God-given appearance is the reason for our problems, because we have been lead to believe that it is because we are black, it is because our asses are big and our hair is nappy that x, y and z... when you let go of the perm and rock your natural hair, you begin to find out that it was never your appearance that was the problem, the same way people who have been blaming their weight issues for their problems find out it wasn't all about the weight. When they shed the excess weight, they begin to find the problems they've been burying in the ritual of eating, they find the pain they've been burying in the weight. The weight was just a symptom. The perming and covering of our natural texture is hiding how we feel about ourselves. It is symptomatic of deeper issues. We have been told we are not beautiful. We have been in essence, told that we are defective even by those who love us, because they were told they aren't beautiful enough or good enough... Feeling unloved and not cherished and adored even in places where you should be made to feel your most perfect even in your own home, results in a lot of issues that result in behaviors that are not healthy. These behaviors are bandages covering up wounds.

So in conclusion, it's never about texture, face shape and the many other things we say keep us from being able to show the world what we really look like, how God created us, it's about if we are ready to deal with the issues we've been hiding in our hair.

Scalpgasms and Other Randomness

Yesterday my husband gave me the most orgasmic scalp massage ever! I was like damn baby, you're killing me right now. My scalp was still tingling when he stopped. AHHHHHHHHHH...My crown is my scalp's G-spot. When I was weaved up I couldn't have a scalpgasm because he couldn't and probably wouldn't if he could, reach my scalp through the tracks. We didn't used to do the hands in hair thing. He just ignored my hair.

On a side note that afro weave I pinned in for my trip to Ghana was the bizness! The only downside was when I kept having to get searched by security because my hundred bobby pins kept setting it off. I was transitioning and didn't have enough hair to braid, saw a post by KB on how she pinned in her afro weave on Nappturality.com and knew I had my solution. Didn't figure in the metal bobby pins vs airport security scenario.

In the house I walk around in a bonnet which annoys him. He misses my naps. When I take my bonnet off, you'd think I had just stripped butt ass naked.

This morning I saturated my twists in Aloe Vera juice and then sealed them with Castor oil (hate the smell but it makes for strong hair). I feed my hair and scalp. No crap I can't pronounce and don't know what the hell it is. I shook my hair around after feeding it because it's fun and it dries faster. I never could shake my hair when I was perming because:

a. If by chance I did get it moving it would look a mess afterward
b. It was lifeless because it was to straight and glued to my scalp thus it wouldn't budge.

Now that I'm nappy it flies around my head, blows in the wind...who woulda thunk it?

So my hair is super nappy which means my twists get fuzzy quick which I personally love. They remind me of locs but without the commitment. I have to be able to rock my fro and dig in my fro. I have to be able to play in my loose hair. I just have to. But I adore locs. My mom has over 15 year old locs.

My hair want's to run the streets. It's a beautiful, sunny day.

It's All in Ya Head

Where do I begin with the foolishness.

There are so many ridiculous myths and assumptions when it comes to naturally nappy hair. Today I'd like to discuss the one that maybe most gets on my damn nerves because I see it crop up so much and it's a bunch of bullshit. I mean damn. Anyway...

Nappy Hair Myth: You wont be able to get a man if you wear your own natural, nappy hair. (I have to seperate this myth from all the others because there are so many sublevels of bullshittery contained within this one myth that to get into it properly, I will have to maintain a single minded focus).

Wow (insert hellified eye roll here). This is really cute because it shows the innocence and naivete of so many women. There are a thousand and one things that will cause men to steer clear of you but in my personal experience and knowing and seeing so many natural women with husbands (myself included), mates, and the whole nine, nappy hair is not one of them, so for the innocent and naive, let me give you the game:

Men are not difficult to attract:

Men are always looking for women. A woman is a man's main goal and the root of why he does everything he does in life. They want us. They need us, but somehow we have convinced ourselves that we have to twist ourselves into pretzels to get and keep a man. If you have that kind of mentality, you will exhibit that. You will lay down your power and a man knows when you don't know your own power. Your experience with men will reflect an imbalance of power. In other words you will be chasing and he will be retreating.


Naturally nappy hair does not take away your feminine power:

In fact when you are wearing your naturally nappy hair, you will be exhibiting something that few human beings can resist; self-confidence. Self-confidence, right now we call it swagger, is so fucking sexy and intoxicating that I would say that it is even above physical appearance when it comes to being able to attract. We've all seen the guy or girl who is married to someone whom we judge they should not have been able to attract in the first place. These people don't look they way we think they should look, but they are attractive. They attract with an energy. Self-confidence, i.e. swagger emanates an energy that pulls people into your orbit. They like the way they feel around you.

It's assumed that a black woman that wears her naturally nappy hair has to have a gang of self-confidence because she is going against the norm. She clearly has a mind of her own. She follows her own rules. This kind of woman is intriguing and unusual. She is even exotic and rare. This is attractive to men. Men love mystery and intrigue. They like to uncover things and see how they work but first they have to be curious. A black woman wearing her naturally nappy hair peeks the curiosity of most everyone. Any naturally nappy woman who has been that way for a while knows about the curiosity that folks have about the choice we made to wear our hair as is.

So you have self-confidence which is hot. What else attracts men?

The way you present yourself attracts men:

If you cared about your appearance before, wearing your hair in it's natural state should not change that. Men love women who love themselves. Being naturally nappy isn't an excuse to let everything go. This is a stereotype, a myth that is developing and is one of the main reasons I decided to start blogging about being naturally nappy. Nappiness should not cause you to let go of your womanly wiles.

Let go of the perm not the pretty.

Perm and pretty are not inextricably bound so that when you stop perming your hair, you have to let go of your pretty. You can leave the perm behind and keep the pretty. In fact nappy goes even better with pretty than perm does. Being naturally nappy, you have the added advantage of standing out so your pretty is magnified. Pretty shows you love yourself and will maintain your appearance. No man wants a slovenly woman. What will she be like if we get into a relationship if she was half-stepping the day we met? If your wardrobe was fly before you stopped relaxing, it should still be fly. If you mani-pedi'd before, you should still be doing it. If eyebrows were on point before why let them go? Wear your favorite perfume. Rock those hot stiletos. Keep your sexy walk and your flirtatious personality. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to become mother earth because you decided to wear your hair the way God made it. If you aren't the mother earth type, why try to adopt a persona and image that isn't you? Rock your pretty. Men have never been able to resist it.

Are you so insecure about your appearance that you are sending out an "I'm not worthy" vibe?

Insecurity is repulsive, repugnant and just down-right unattractive. Let me take that back. You'll attract folks. They will mirror how you feel about yourself. They will tell you everything you believe about yourself. Yes they will cooberate your inner monologue. I've read so many posts on natural hair sites wear newly nappy women are questioning themselves and if they can still be considered attractive blah blah blah... Woman considering transitioning wondering if they will still be attractive blah bloo weee sploo doo doo dahhhhh....Women in general are programmed to be insecure and it makes a lot of money for many industries, but black women are programmed to the nth degree. The only cure for what ails us, we believe is to fit in, conform, try to be like the images we see all day every day. What we really need to do is the exact opposite of conforming. To conform and submit means that you have been beaten into submission. You have given your power away and accept that others are more powerful than you. This is not the cure for insecurity.

If you are carrying around a shit load of insecurity, it's time to deprogram:

You're going to have to do it yourself. Turn off the Television. Stop buying magazines that don't reflect you. Seek out images of beautiful naturally nappy black woman and inundate your mind with them everyday. You can find these images in natural haired Fotki albums and by doing image searches in google. You can attend African centered festivals and natural hair shows. Soak up our beauty and flyness. Revel in it. Celebrate it. Damn cry about missing out on it for so long. When I finally figured out how fly our hair is, I was so damned mad at myself for all the years I had spent trying to kill my hair and hide it but I was so relieved that it wasn't to late to glorify and just show out with it.

You need to be convinced of your God-given glory the same way you were convinced God was wrong to create someone like you. Wash your mind clean. Fight for your mind because it is in the drivers seat. You don't want a mind driving your life that is under the influence of bullshit. We all know gorgeous woman that are living lives of less quality than what we believe they should be able to attract. This should tell every woman that it's not just about how you look. If your mind is broken, if you are convinced that you are not worthy, God could pour down every blessing on you and for you it will be as though you are cursed. We have to repair our minds. Pray if that's what you do. Meditate if that's what you do. Journal. Repeat positive affirmations in the mirror if that's something you're willing to do. Surround yourself with the most positive kinds of influences. Eventually if you continue to deprogram yourself, over time you will really come to know that you are fabulous and amazing, that God made you perfect, you will see a shift in your life. You will know that everything that society (whatever that is to you) tried to tell you was a mighty load of crap and you will begin to wield the power that God gave you. This is the kind of woman that will attract more than just any man because it's not about attracting whatever kind of man, she will attract a king that will put her on a throne.

I Thought I Was Doing Some Shit

but I wasn't.

All weaved up and permed down to the white meat thinking I was making it rain, though rain was the enemy even as I

wandered through the dessert, thirsty with my scalp on fire drinking from mirages wondering why oh why lord...

was I so replaceable

because although I attracted dudes with my fake straight long hair,

the real thing was always out there making me look fraudulent and desperate.

and the shit itched,

plus my scalp was scabbed up half the time from chemical burns

and don't let my weave be new...

I'm popping tylenol 3's like penny candy ducking around corners patting my head on the low like I could make money fall out my ears, yet coming back trying to act like I wasn't ready to jump out the first open window just to get a moment of relief.

Those chicks giving you the stank face...

I know what's really going on with them because I was one of them.

Their weaves are tight

their scalps are raw

their ends are chopped and screwed.

They're trapped in that vicious cycle trying not to be found out because that's what they think they have to do to be that chick.

I was like them a hot minute ago

that Chrysler 300 that Kat Williams talked about...

it's all good until that Phantom pulls up next to your azz, then you look bootleg and janky.

That was me with my wanna be straight hair.

My swagger was suspect on a good day.

I was deluded and so insecer but like those counterfeit chicks, you still couldn't tell me nothing.

But Now it's all me?

I'm that chick that can throw on something simple with some lip gloss and barely touch my hair and still look hot to def?

... plus don't shit itch or hurt.

Damn right I don't know how to act.

I'm that hotness they can't get and don't know nuffin about.

Fuck a Chrysler and a Phantom.

I'm like a Bugatti Veyron up in this muthafucka .

Nappy Sexy Fly's Top 10 Reasons to Go Natural

10. With the money you save on salon visits and products to maintain your relaxer, you'll finally be able to tighten up your shoe game

9. You will no longer be competing with all the other straight haired chicks on the planet for the spot light, the spot light will almost always automatically be on you. Let them fight amongst themselves.

8. Your man will be happy because he will finally be able to put his hands all up in your hair.

7. If you can rock your own hair when very few of us have the ovaries to, you know you can do what ever the hell else you want to do.

6. For those who stay in a weave: Haters will no longer be able to point to your weave as the reason you're so fly, they'll just have to accept the fact that you are that chick. Period.

5. For those who stay in a lace front: You will no longer have to fear and dread that time when you have to go ahead and tell your boo that you don't really have Indian in your family.

4. For those of you with kids: You can stop investing in your local beauty supply owners kid's college fund and finally start one for your own damn kids.

3. Water will no longer be your kryptonite.

2. You won't have to worry about what's happening with your hair during sex, you can finally concentrate on getting yours.

1. God already made you fly. Did you really think you could out create God?